I'm having an emotional battle right now.
A battle between having the courage to share my story, and the easy road of keeping it bottled up and to myself.
I'm doing a pretty intense online branding course, and I've recently realized that I want to expand.
Because health is so much more than the physical aspect.
That's why we buy gym memberships, but never use them.
Purchase at home programs and allow them to collect dust.
Coast on autopilot and never make a change.
If our mind isn't right, nothing is right.
I've been asked to share my story, as part of the homework, in 250 words or less.
Although it's been easier to play the safe card with only tackling fitness and nutrition, I want to put myself out there.
Unedited and unfiltered.
So as you read these next 250 words, can I ask a favor?
Will you help me?
Will you comment:
1. What did you like?
2. What did you dislike?
3. What emotions came up for you?
4. What was the most memorable?
5. What would make it better?
I'm willing to dip my toe in the water here....
"Love is earned, or so I thought.
People will love me for what I do, not who I am, and I better be perfect.
But perfect wasn’t a label I gave myself.
Dumb, fat, ugly, introverted; Those were the labels I lived each day.
I’ve survived learning disabilities that led to failed exams, family pressures and tension, and judgment in the fitness industry for not looking a certain way.
I survived a miscarriage, a failed birth plan, an unwanted Cesarean section.
I felt that I was a complete failure, and I didn't know if I could survive any more.
I felt my failures made me unworthy of love and I wanted to check out of this life.
I couldn’t take the emotional torture.
Giving up was easier.
But then I met this amazing man, who loved me for who I was.
I married that man.
And with that man, we made a beautiful baby.
And with the birth of my son, and unconditional love of my husband, I had a re-birth in my own life.
I realized that I gave up far too much time allowing people judge, ridicule, and bully me.
I spent far too many years accepting their views as truth.
Chasing perfection was exhausting.
Constantly living with the labels of others was debilitating, and that’s not the life I wanted for my son.
My parents chose to raise me in a mould driven by image and accomplishments, but it left me feeling empty on the inside.
I chose to take that mould and SMASH it.
I chose to RE-BUILD.
Now I’ve made it my mission to help other moms do the same."
*What came up for you? I'd love your feedback in the comment section.*
XO- Lisa P.