What's the scariest, craziest thing I could do this year?
Scary because I've been on the receiving end of endless criticism from a narcissistic mother. Scary because I've been bullied most of my life.
Crazy because I work full time, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I run a business, I teach fitness classes, and I'm currently taking a 8-10 hour brand building course, so time isn't on my side.
What's the scariest, craziest thing?
November 25, 2016 in Toronto, Ontario,
I'm stepping on stage as a first time bikini competitor.
Yes, the woman who has an intense fear of judgement, grew up as a fat kid, and was given the family genes of obesity, heart disease, and diabetes, is saying,
"Here I am. Have a look at this body and judge!"
I must be certifiably nuts!
But ever since having my son, the best word I can describe myself as is DRIVEN.
And the best role that I can possibly be in a day is ROLE MODEL to my family.
I decided that this was going to be the year that I got in the best shape of my life.
I decided this was the year that I was going to toss out the mental garbage of my past.
And I decided that my dream, my plans, and my goals, are freaking worth it!
WHY NOT ME?
Too many times in my life I've found myself saying, "Wouldn't that be nice if..."
I had six pack abs (after everyone told me that it's impossible after a C-section.)
I could look in the mirror and not see my imperfections (why are we so hard on ourselves?)
I could truly be confident (and believe in my ability to work harder that anyone else and figure things out!)
Well.. I decided I was going to do this.
And I went on a search for a knowledgeable, down to earth, but bad ass trainer, and in 24 hours I found one.
And in 24 hours, we had one conversation,
And in 24 hours I signed on the dotted line.
Just like that.
Today, day one, was SUCH a learning curve. Newer clean supplements, my macros plus tracking app, and a stair stepper and leg workout, oh my!
A stair stepper?
I work out from home with HIIT workouts!
I had to push buttons!
It literally took me 3 minutes to get the darn thing working!
Normally I would have met the day frustrated, overwhelmed, and a "Let's just get it over with" attitude
Because I have a really, really, hard time placing value on myself and my needs.
But today I smiled.
Through the stair stepper incident.
Through the jump squats.
To the big dude at the gym who wouldn't get off the damn cable press machine.
Through the learning curves.
Through the meal prepping.
Through reading that I was an "endomorph" body type, googling it, and seeing that it meant I store fat easily. Guess that's just a fact.
But that doesn't matter.
I've have a vision.
I see myself standing on that stage, taking first place in my category as a newbie.
It will be my testament to saying,
"I worked damn hard for this very moment."
"I showed the bullies that they didn't break me inside and out."
"I'm standing here before you as me, and I'm not comparing myself to any other athlete standing on this stage because they have their own story."
"I did it. I did the scariest, craziest, toughest thing in my life and I survived!"
Day 1 of 138.
It's all possible. #BetterBodyAfterBaby